Reverse Culture Haze

I think I will coin this term that so aptly describes my present state of being. It's like a dream, a weird, slow dream in which periodically my brain just refuses to take in any more.

I was so excited to go to Wal-Mart... on the way there I just couldn't believe how FAR we had to drive! I mean, I think we went to the other side of the world! And there is all this open space here... fields, unused real estate... space! Walking through Wal-mart again was like a sci-fi movie. Like I wasn't really inside my own body, but was rather floating up somewhere in the spaces above. My body moved very slowly because it just took so long to look at everything. I had this vague feeling of, I've been here before, in another life... and yet the store was SO BIG!!! I just kept walking and walking, I thought I might die in there, but thank God they had everything that I could need to survive! It's like every store in one. I walk from the clothing store, to the electronic store, to the grocery store without ever going outside!

Today I went on a walk... I had the weird feeling that the sidewalks had shrunk. I am sure they are barely wider than an average Norwegian Baby Stroller - how do you go for a walk with your baby and friend? I felt a little cramped - but when I looked at the road, it was so wide! I guess that's a good idea since they need to drive these really big trucks all over it and maybe have some parked on the side of the road.

I think overall, I am basically afraid of strangers right now. I don't know what to say to them how to act... it's much safer to stay inside the house with people who can handle my weird behaviour. When I came off the airplane and saw Leigh, she said I walked European. How do I find my old walk again?

It's fascinating to see that what was weird to me 2 years ago is now normal and what was normal to me two years ago is now weird. It's a good thing that I already knew that I am homeless, or I would feel just a bit out of place!